Written by Rebecca Spooner

Many people come to me for answers. Whether that’s because I was a homeschool blogger, write curriculum, was homeschooled myself, or even because I have homeschooled my own kids for the past 10 years—they see my kids or little glimpses of my day and think to themselves, Clearly she is doing a better job than me. But the reality is that the biggest thing I have learned is I’m a hit-and-miss homeschooler. My track record is either winning or just about beginning! I am busy—juggling careers and companies and ministry and family and dropping nearly as many balls as I’m picking up.

Some days I know what I want; I know what I need to do, but life is just so incredibly inconsiderate of my plans. Doctor’s appointments, sickness, work, friendship, weather, attitudes... there are so many things that can affect our days that I can feel like I’m just along for the ride. Next week will be better, I tell myself convincingly. And then we have company show up or a cold hits the household.

But then we have these other days. Days when I check off everything on my dream list. Days when the kids are actually listening, and I am giving them my full, undivided attention. Days where I miraculously listened to my alarm (yes, the first in a series of 10) and got up early, had coffee, started dinner in the Crock-Pot, cleaned the house, had my quiet time, and worked—all before the kids cracked open their doors to the unforgiving dawn. These, my friends, are the days I live for. They make everything worth it, and I cling onto them when something unexpected comes and ruins all my plans.

If there is anything I have learned in these past nearly 11 years of homeschooling, it is that I have to be flexible. To move with the natural ebbs and flows of life and not set my expectations too unrealistically high or unattainable.

Why am I telling you this? Because I feel like someone has to. Someone has to come off the pedestal that they've been put on because no one sees what is behind their screen. Someone has to say, Wait! Don’t you dare think this is everything!” because for far too many for far too long, homeschooling has been a never-ending race, desperately searching for something that doesn’t exist... perfection.

You, with the Splinter of Failure in Your Heart

Someone out there is reading this article thinking that everyone else has it together but them. Everyone else must have something they don’t to be so patient, joyful, and successful at this. How do they do it? How well they must sleep at night without the crushing weight or anxious doubt that their kids might be struggling or falling behind because of their inconsistency! Someone out there has been quietly following all the homeschool “experts” and holding onto their co-op like a lifeline, hoping no one will find them out or say what they hope is not true (though they suspect it must be): that they can’t do this.

I am not here to tell you that you are perfect just as you are or that you should just accept your failures and settle. Homeschooling can be so much more—it can be fun and exciting and interactive and full of life and love and infused with joy. Instead, I am here to tell you that there is hope. Sure, I’m a hit-and-miss homeschooler, and my kids could probably be further ahead. Sure, I could devote everything to homeschooling and probably do a better job... but I do what I can with what I have been given. I have tasted and seen and experienced what a life-giving homeschool can look like, and I won’t settle for less nor will I condemn myself when school looks like a show and cuddles on the couch. I will continue to pray and ask God what matters that day and then accept when His ways don’t look anything like mine. I will trust Him to fill in the gaps.

Reach for More, Accept What Is

I aspire for greatness in my kids and in my homeschool journey, but sometimes my perception of greatness is the very thing that needs to change. Greatness can be listening to my 4-year-old tell me that God helped her when she was feeling scared. Greatness can be playing violin with my daughter and laughing at our mistakes. Greatness can be cleaning the house together and learning to buckle up, be more responsible, and contribute to the family. Greatness can be having a nap with my 8-year old when he is sick. Greatness can be the stuff in between too, and learning is happening all around us.

When we stop making school something we do and instead make learning a way of life—something that is infused into the very fabric of our days—that is when we start to experience breakthrough in our days.

So grab a cup of coffee, stop trying to impose what you think homeschooling should be, and find what it is. Don’t settle for your struggles—battle through them. But do it gently and have some grace for yourself. You are never going to be perfect—no one is! Instead, stop looking to everyone else to be your gauge and start seeing the beauty of what is in front of you. May we be a generation of homeschoolers who raise our kids with con dence and victory because we aim for greatness but are still willing to adjust our perception of what that is and leave room for God to direct our steps. That is the kind of hit-and-miss homeschooler that I want to be.

God, let me hit when I’m supposed to hit, and let me be okay with the miss when there’s something else you have for me instead.

Rebecca Spooner
Gather Round Homeschool

Rebecca is a homeschool mom of five kids, creator of Gather ‘Round Homeschool, owner of Homeschoolon.com, and author of More Than Words Bible curriculum. She is a second-generation homeschooler who is passionate about sharing her successes and failures... to be authentic and honest that this is not always easy, but it is possible. Join her for stories from the trenches of homeschool life that are relatable, funny, and all too true. And may you walk away with practical tools and strategies and a fresh new perspective to keep you going. Bring a cup of coffee; it’s about to get real.